Tuesday, 9 November 2010

don't threaten me with love, baby. let's just go walking in the rain [billie holiday]

we had two options. we buy a goldfish bowl and feel better that another species is more submerged and pitiful under a sheath of water than we are, or, we ‘re-invent’ rain and look at it from another, more philosophical, elemental perspective.  

langston hughes wrote some really lovely words on rain, so too did pablo neruda, none of which you will find here. instead, we went all out and enquired as to what such illuminating figures as pamela anderson and billy bob thornton had to say on the much maligned subject of rain.

in effect, we can conclude  that rain will bust your nose, it will melt your face and it will make you smell of dog. but mostly we learnt that ‘rain’ means different things to different people, so what does your rain, under your sky, over your head, mean to you dear reader? as we are not thoreau living in idyllic walden pond, we can only imagine it means,  F%$*ING MISERY!
here are what some sage meteorological figures had to say on the subject of bastard rain:  

"i believe in running through the rain and crashing into the person you love and having your lips bleed on each other"  [billy bob thornton]
"i don't consider myself a pessimist. i think of a pessimist as someone who is waiting for it to rain. and i feel soaked to the skin"  [leonard cohen]
"if i were running the world i would have it rain only between 2 and 5 a.m. anyone who was out then ought to get wet"  [william lyon phelps]
"it always rains on tents. rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent"  [dave barry]
"i don't know how you get dressed if you live in wales, because it's pouring rain and then it's hot sunshine, and then it might hail. it's just so confusing"  [piper perabo]
"i am like howard beale. when he came out of the rain and he was like, none of this makes any sense. i am that guy" [glenn beck]
"i like rain, actually"  [bill rodgers]
"my face looks like a wedding-cake left out in the rain"  [w. h. auden]
"rain is also very difficult to film, particularly in ireland because it's quite fine, so fine that the irish don't even acknowledge that it exists" [alan parker]
"i love the rain. i want the feeling of it on my face" [katherine Mansfield]
"i'd like to be able to use storm's powers for good, like have it rain more in southern california. We could do with it"  [halle berry]
"in london, the weather would affect me negatively. i react strongly to light. if it is cloudy and raining, there are clouds and rain in my soul"  [jerzy kosinski]
[image: reiki.whatitallbelike.com]

[aine herlihy]

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